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The first 15 years of our marriage were saturated by dreams of parenthood, and endless cycles of negative pregnancy tests, miscarriages, adoption losses, and three beautiful bring-home babies... 
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My Christmas gift for you, 2025

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It has been just over 14 years since I had to begin re-learning how to communicate, after multiple catastrophic strokes. For the first few years, my memory was so bad that I could not complete a sentence without forgetting what i was trying to say.  “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”  - John 3:16 Next week will mark 5 years since I first watched Susan Heck's  A Call To Scripture Memory  video and started trying long-passage Scripture memory as “brain training” for ongoing stroke recovery. (I clearly know that the date was Dec. 10, because this date marks a landmark related to our first daughter, Noel Alexis, who was born directly from my womb into Heaven back in 1994.) Brain training was only the start. After a decade of infertility with recurrent losses (multiple miscarriage and adoption losses), the failure of the business where we had hoped to raise our children (...
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Infertility, Miscarriage, Adoption Loss

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Any updates to this post will be found at  JenniferSaake.blogspot.com/p/hannahs.html From 1992-2006, Rick and I prayed for children. We spent more than a decade seriously entrenched in the daily struggles of infertility, demanding costly emotional, medical, and financial investments. We opened our hearts to thirteen children we longed to parent. We grieved ten babies we did not get to raise (miscarriages and adoption losses). We've experienced the indescribable joy of parenting three living miracles. Since 1996, I've participated in a variety of online forums and platforms, first using pseudonyms related to  Hannah , then  over the past two decades, as  @InfertilityMom . I  founded  Hannah's Prayer Ministries  in 1994 , and authored   Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss  in 2005. Please  enjoy  a free pdf version of the book introduction, my personal infertility / loss story...
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Reset

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I, Jennifer Saake , stumbled into the online world in my mid-early 20s, around 1995 or '96. As you may have noticed, I've been fairly quiet this past couple of years. Here's why. After processing my own journey online for so long, last year I sort of ran out of words and went into public hibernation. As I prepare to once again start fresh in an attempt to plunge back into the blogosphere, here's my backstory, divided into about 10 sub-headings so than you can skim topics. (Many of the headings are linked to more detailed pages.): Infertility, Miscarriages, Adoption Losses Three years in, our infertility and loss journeys became lived out in the public eye, as God allowed me the incredible privilege of interacting with tens of thousands of other grieving women, both through  Hannah's Prayer Ministries  and then, a decade later, with the publication of  my first book , Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, & Adoptio...
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