Jennifer Saake

I was 39 (13, 3 times over). That was 13 years ago.  I don't understand God's grace in allowing me to survive that day , or each of the days since. I was sure angry then that I was stuck in such a broken mind and body. But now I am so thankful. I'm thankful for these years to get right with God . I'm thankful for my husband who, after 19 years of marriage and 3 living children together, had to instantly become the "single father of 4, with his physically biggest and emotionally most immature, requiring exceeding high special needs care" for many years. Now 32 in, Rick is still fighting for us and our marriage. I'm thankful that Rick encourages my dreams and joys, while knowing me well enough to see when I've taken on more than I can actually handle, keeping me grounded by challenging me to realistically accept the goals that remain beyond my reach. I'm thankful to have been allowed to walk each of our babies into adulthood. If I even start unpackin...

 I turned 39 less than 3 months before my  strokes .  This month I'll turn 49. I wasn't supposed to live. Not alive to the hospital. Not through the first night. Not through the first three days. Not through the first week... Surviving an entire decade makes no sense, medically speaking. I am (now) beyond grateful. (Oh boy, was I mad I had survived at first though!) I've gotten to raise two kids into adulthood and another is starting his second year of high school next month. (My initial worry that I would never get to raise them, was for totally different reasons !) I did not leave my husband a widower. I am re-learning many skills and making an impact in lives, because of the strokes, living a platform I didn't want,. I feel thoughtful today, I can't quite wrap my head around nearly a decade.  I am very thankful. Overwhelmingly grateful. Happy. Joyful. Awe-filled Also a little sad. Melancholy. Disoriented. Confused. Bewildered. Many memories of this past decade ar...