Jennifer Saake

I was 39 (13, 3 times over). That was 13 years ago.  I don't understand God's grace in allowing me to survive that day , or each of the days since. I was sure angry then that I was stuck in such a broken mind and body. But now I am so thankful. I'm thankful for these years to get right with God . I'm thankful for my husband who, after 19 years of marriage and 3 living children together, had to instantly become the "single father of 4, with his physically biggest and emotionally most immature, requiring exceeding high special needs care" for many years. Now 32 in, Rick is still fighting for us and our marriage. I'm thankful that Rick encourages my dreams and joys, while knowing me well enough to see when I've taken on more than I can actually handle, keeping me grounded by challenging me to realistically accept the goals that remain beyond my reach. I'm thankful to have been allowed to walk each of our babies into adulthood. If I even start unpackin...

Tomorrow will be the anniversary, my "re-birthday" when life stated over from square one. Thirteen years ago I heard the word "hypermobile" for the first time. I was 39 years old and a chiropractor had just rotated my neck and commented on my extreme flexibility. That first side of my neck adjusted upon first attempt, but the other side just wouldn't realign. After multiple attempts , my vertebral artery was ruptured in the back of my neck and I instantly experience two catastrophic (either should have been fatal) brain bleeds (strokes) there on the treatment table, initially triggering a seizure, blindness, slurred speech, and a rapid progression to loss of consciousness. I was in the hospital for nearly 2 months, shocking doctors that I even survived the first night. I had to relearn how to breathe without a machine, swallow, see, hear (we eventually discovered I had lost 70-90% of my hearing), sit up without two adults holding me, bladder control, and everyt...

Are you specifically looking for my stroke story?  If you want to start directly there, jump down about 6 paragraphs. Look for the bolded line about October, 2011, then back up one paragraph for a little more context. I've lived with   myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS)  since my teens. I am not cured, but thankfully my illness is (current as of  early 2021)  well-managed with rest, routine, and medication .  Having lived through decades of remissions and relapses, sometimes being so sick that it feels like the act of breathing is more demanding than I can muster, I've spent seasons whimpering in bed without the strength to even roll over.  Even on "good days" ME/CFS is to just "being tired" what a hurricane is to a shower of sprinkles. Think of a time when you had a nasty case of the flu with aches, fatigue so severe you couldn't think straight, system dysregulation like unanticipated blood pressure drops and chills and fevers...