Who Can You Encourage?

With babies in Heaven as well as the blessing of raising children on earth, Mother's Day is always a mixed bag of extreme emotions for me.

Undoubtedly, I am overwhelmingly thankful for my living miracles, likely much more aware of what a gift they are than I would have been had they come easily. Perhaps intensified by "knowing what I am missing" as I watch my earthly children grow, though it has been over 19 years since my 3rd pregnancy loss, my heart is still tender concerning my kids no longer here. Read more about infertility, miscarriage, and adoption loss, at JenniferSaake.blogspot.com/2021/04/hannahs.html and be my guest to read the first chapter of my book, Hannah's Hope, free at  hannahshopebook.com/media/HannahHopeChapter1.pd

This will be my first MD in a new church and I already know that there will be a baby dedication ceremony this week, so I'm half holding my breath as I wait to see how the service will unfold. Thankfully, we are a verse-by-verse, through the Bible teaching church, so I already know that the sermon will pick up right where we ended last week, for part three of Jesus' prayer in John chapter 17. It is such a relief that I will not be sitting through another topical sermon on motherhood this year!

This is our daughter's last MD at home before moving away to college in another state (at low altitude). I'm beyond delighted for her, so amazed at all God has done to make this possible. But I am going to miss her SO MUCH.

I'm thankful that my mom is still alive, but we live in different states and I have not seen her since before COVID. While we manage a Zoom Bible study together almost every week, and AT LEAST one hour-long phone call each week, I wonder how many MDs we have left together? I tried to leave her almost a decade ago - 6 strokes at age 39 - and neither of us is getting younger.

Typing that all out, I sound like a mess! Really my biggest prayer over the weekend is for families facing fresh loss and those living through ongoing mom-related grief (infertility, sterility, single friends who long for motherhood, those who have lost a child(ren) or lost a mom figure, hard mom relationships, no mom relationships, etc.).

Please prayerfully think through your friends and family and consider who you might be able to offer some encouragement to this weekend. A text, a card, a phone call, a hug, a book (possibly audio version if they are too busy or broken-hearted to read), flowers. The act of recognizing pain and remembering a lost relationship can go such a long way to encourage a weary heart.

Don't know what to say? Here is an example of the kind of greeting card message you could write to someone with living children, but who experienced a surprise pregnancy that ended in miscarriage this past year. I suggested that the children's grandmother give her daughter a beautiful MD card celebrating motherhood to all of her children, gushing over them as only a grandma can do, AND including something along these lines:

"We remember that you are *NAME's mom too. I am praying for you in the sting of loss. Please let me know when you need to focus on celebration and how you need to grieve. I'm here to listen if you want to talk."

*If baby was named and you have been honored enough to have been entrusted to know this name, please use it! If baby was not named, or you don't know the name, use appropriate alternatives like "your surprise baby" (if you know it was a surprise pregnancy) or "your little one in Heaven," or "Your baby who is now with Jesus". 

Please avoid describing this unique child as an "angel" since the spiritual makeup of a person does not become an entirely different created being (human to angelic) upon physical death. (Now is likely not the right time to start a debate with your grieving loved one if they choose to characterize their own child by this term that they may be using as a comforting endearment.)

Two miscarriage / stillbirth / infant loss books that I have personally appreciated are:

- the comforting, theologically sound book Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child by John F. MacArthur 

and

- the hardback devotional journal, of gift-giving quality, with Scriptural prompts and blank lines for a mom to record her own thoughts and prayers - I consider mine my "baby book" for my miscarried little ones - Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born Child by Kathe Wunnenberg. 

My book, Hannah's Hope, is best given to those facing some form of infertility, with or without specific loss(es) along the way, including difficulty conceiving, inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth, or struggles to complete adoption.

#MothersDay #ThisWeekend #Infertility #Miscarriage #Missing #NoelAlexis #HannahRose #JoelSamuel #Twin #AdoptionLoss

#PrayForGrievingHearts

facebook.com/HannahsHopeBook

I would love to meet you through social media:

author page - facebook.com/HarvestingHope

Specialty pages:

    infertility / loss - fb.com/HannahsHopeBook

    stroke - fb.com/StrokieGal

    current book project on church deception - fb.com/DeceptionUnmasked

Pinterest @InfertilityMom

Twitter @InfertilityMom

Instagram @InfertilityMom

My books:

 

Please enjoy a free pdf version of the introduction, my personal infertility / loss story, and the first chapter of Hannah's Hope at www.hannahshopebook.com/media/HannahHopeChapter1.pd

Read about our current book project I am co-authoring with Carolyn Howell, author of Foodborne Dementia, about deception in the church, at JenniferSaake.blogspot.com/2021/04/DeceptionUnmasked.html