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Infertility, Miscarriages, Adoption Losses
Chronic Illness
This led to making especially close connections with small groups of ladies striving to understand how faith in Jesus Christ should be lived out while in the midst of fertility challenges, while also fighting various chronic illnesses, such as those that had, to varying degrees, disabled me since my teenage years. Between infertility, bereavement, and a grocery list of health diagnoses and experiences - such as rare allergies, endometriosis, polycystic ovaries (PCO, PCOS, PCOD), IUI, early hysterectomy, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and more - for a few years I won awards and was recognized as a leading health advocate, both within the Christian support arena, and by secular organizations as well.
Motherhood
As God graced us with children (three surviving, and ten we never got to bring home), their early childhoods funny stories and my adventures as a chronically ill, minivan driving, homeschooling mom, were also documented for the world to witness. Making cameo appearances in my blog posts were our beloved fur-baby kittens who, due to significant allergies, were gradually replaced with a series of fish, hermit crabs, and birds. I don't have a specific "motherhood" page on this blog yet, so enjoy this little Q and A bio instead.)
Strokes
At age 39, all of my online activities screeched to a halt when I visited a chiropractor where an artery in my neck was dissected during a neck adjustment, and I suffered severe brain injury via 6 strokes within 26 days (the first 2, happening right there on the adjustment table). I was not expected to survive that first night, nor first week, and certainly not beyond a few months. I was to live out my days as a "vegetable" in a nursing home, never to walk or meaningfully to engage in life again.
With total paralysis of the left side of my body, I came home just days before Christmas, 2011, to a hospital bed in the living room, 24/7 adult supervision required, physical therapists and homecare nurses visiting three times a day, a wheelchair to get anywhere (like into the bathroom), needing to be showered and fed, legally blind, with profound hearing loss.
About six-months into my ongoing stoke journey, my brother lovingly re-taught me how to navigate a computer. Turning to what I already knew, I began to document my stoke recovery journey via blog, often way oversharing many details while processing the physical, emotional, and spiritual experiences, not always in the healthiest manner. The following paragraph contains a taste of some of the health-specific ramblings of my old "Stroke of Grace" blog. If it does not interest you, please scroll on down to the right of the "double-jointed" picture, to the "Today" heading, or the large, blue, "Later this month..." paragraph below this wordy one:
In addition to support for patients experiencing young strokes, traumatic brain injury (TBI), concussions and post-concussion syndrome (PCS), ataxia, sympathetic storms, neuro-immunity, and talk of the new CDC naming of myalgia encephalomyelitis (the "ME" part of ME/CFS), my blogs offered patient peer support as I delved into Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and other hypermobility spectrum and collagen disorders, connective tissue defects, and genetic illnesses, laying out the mechanics of chiropractic stroke and explaining exactly why a major Heart Association once warned that such adjustments can be so dangerous even to those who are NOT diagnosed with EDS or any HMSD conditions. (My strokes led to the deep medical investigation that ultimately revealed my diagnosis of a non-artery impacting form of EDS, so not only did my specific form of EDS not cause arterial fragility leading to unusual risk of rupture, but I went to the adjustment never having a clue prior to my dissection that I was on the HMSD spectrum at all. Though chiropractic stroke can happen without any collagen anomaly, even if you have a HMSD, you may only find out after an accident such the one I experienced as my chiropractor over-rotated my neck while observing and verbally commenting on my excessive "hypermobility," a term I had never heard before.)
Today
Later this month, we will pass the mark of 13 years since our family had our lives utterly upended. I am 52. I never expected to see these past 13 years and am astounded by God's grace!!!
Today the only readily visible evidence of my strokes are my hearing aids, prism glasses, and the cane I use most times I am outside my home - for long walks (like to my mailbox three houses down the street), uneven terrain (gravel parking lots), unfamiliar locations (a friend's house I have not repeatedly visited, or where a pet in loose), or busy environments (church, restaurant, or store). My balance is still not all it should be and I cannot jump or run, but I "pinball" my way around my house without the cane, bouncing against walls and furniture. My badly scuffed toes of each left shoe I own testify to the cumulative effect of apparently still dragging my left leg a bit more than I realize, though you likely won't notice too profoundly upon simple observation. My right-side joints - toes, ankle, knee, hip, arm, shoulder, thumb - have a lot of wear and arthritis due to so many years of double-duty compensation for the slacking left.
Knowing what to look for, if you spend much time around me, you may catch daily moments of coughing fits due to my swallow reflex still not being perfect and my throat doing weird spasm choking things a few times per day. My left back and shoulder still remain weak enough to require muscle relaxants for out-of-control spasms about 1-3 times per month. When I'm especially stressed or tried - mentally, emotionally, and/or physically - my eyes drift into crossed focus, or you might notice slight facial drooping, or my speech may become a little more slurred, or my balance may grow less than my normal. I've never regained the skills and reaction speed required for safe driving, so remain license-less. My unique cognitive and reasoning capability give me unusual presumptions and perspectives on life around me, so my patient husband often has to serve as my interpreter to help me grasp information or situational nuances. I lack typical facial recognition skills, so have a really hard time consistently identifying people I know well (even my own children). Interpersonal communication and emotional responses remain challenging, and my memory retention is spotty. But I'm here!
Deception
During my first 7-8 years of stroke recovery, I bought into some serious spiritual deceptions, most encountered right in church Bible studies and women's groups. From there I fell into contact with some para-church organizations claiming to be Biblically compatible, while teaching practices dynamically opposed to Scripture! Shortly after our move to Arizona, for 3+ years, a friend and I met several times per month (sometimes several times per week) to talk and pray and study through these issues.
Writing
My heart's desire became to write a book alerting other women to be aware and avoid the lies that entangled me. About a year ago, C. went through a family crisis requiring us to end our joint writing efforts.
Honestly, I've attempted to write 7 different books over these past dozen years, and I've not had the cognitive and organizational skills to bring a single one to fruition. So while I've been outlining this book for over four years now, and am more passionate to address the issues than ever, I don't know what (or if) the reality of this finished project will look like. I would appreciate your prayers as I regularly meet with my pastor to try to figure out a plan.
Memory
Primarily just to help with cognitive function and memory, I initially began long-passage Scripture memory in December of 2020. An update of my videos will be a separate post, but this practice remains one of the greatest joys of my life. I am not retaining as well as I had hoped, but God has taught me much as I've focused verse-by-verse though Jude, 1 John, Jonah, a few of the Psalms,1 Peter, 2 John, and now the book of James. My eventual goals are revisit Jude (since I have honed my memory skills greatly since I first attempted that 25-verse book), then to memorize a verse at a time through Leviticus 19:15-18, 2 Peter, and 3 John. Next I hope to create and learn an overview of the Gospel of John in a chapter-synopsis memory format. I'm not sure if I will attempt some minor prophets on more New Testament letters after that. I will keep updating my YouTube channel as I go (most of my chapters are found under the "Live" tab, with a couple under "videos" because I cannot figure out how to correctly organize my channel).
Weight
Throughout adolescence, I was underweight, unable to retain pounds no matter how intentionally or frequently I ate. With the use of fertility medications started several months before my 21st birthday, my body quickly learned not only to retain, but to keep gaining, so I spent the majority of my reproductive years moderately overweight, oddly dropping weight only while pregnant, then gaining back even more with each of the three babies I nursed. By my first partial hysterectomy at age 36, the sudden hormone changes drove the scales up another 20 pounds or so.
By the time of my strokes, I had just spent the past two years getting my body back into my healthy weight range. The week before my strokes I had bought myself my goal-weight celebration gift of a cute goal-weight jacket I had been eyeing for many months. I only enjoyed that jacket for just the one week because, during my 7 1/2 hospital weeks, I unintentionally dropped another 20+ pounds, well back into the unhealthfully underweight category again, weighing scarcely 100 pounds at 5 feet and 4 inches. Though I was eating six Boost-laden milkshakes per day, in addition to IV nutrition and small amounts of regular food I attempted to learn to chew and swallow. Doctors estimated my body was burning around 5,000 calories per day just to fight for life.
Fast forward 10 years, through far less calorie demands, a decade of non-optional sanatory lifestyle, physically re-learning how to eat and daily acting as if I were a teen again or still had that dramatic calorie requirements of new brain injury, the rest of my hysterectomy that plunged me into full-fledged menopause at age 43, stress from a couple of years of significant health needs for our children, a move to a new state with accompanying searches for a home and the right church, and months of serious stress eating during COVID lockdowns. Though I had attempted a medically-monitored nutrition program back around 2017, by 2021 and early 2022, I had more than doubled my hospital lowest weight, not just overweight, but now well into the "clinically obese" range for the first time in my life, solidly over the 200-pound mark, about 80 pounds above my jacket purchase day.
Part of my mental focus over 2022 was my weight - throughout all of that year's concerted effort, I manage to only drop about 9.5 pounds, though I was trying hard to "eat clean" and even watch calories, but I was still eating at all times of day and night. In total frustration, early last year I began carefully and prayerfully researching and, under the care of my doctor, implementing, intermittent fasting (IF), primarily using the "Every Other Day Diet" or up-day-down-day method, with various forays into OMAD, the 2/5 plan, and other varieties of time-restricted eating, initially stiving for 12-hour fasts, and gradually extending those fasting periods by even 20-30 minutes each week, until this past summer when I was observing 20-hour daily fast, with only 4 hour eating windows each day. Between Jan. 19, 2022, and Nov. 1, 2023, the LORD allowed me to drop another 35.5 pounds. My blood work has never looked better. And it is so much easier to move with less weight!
Plateau and Weight Gain
It has been a big learning curve that has encompassed most of my energy throughout 2023 and 2024. Though I've continue with IF this past year, I plateaued at about 12 pounds above my "healthy" weight range and sat there for 6-8 months, before gradually starting to climb heavier again. (My theory is that I was over-fasting, and so I've recently returned to 8-hour eating windows most days.) This week my doctor restarted me on low dose on medication I've taken off and on over the past 25-27 years, so we will see if that medication, in combination with IF, will stall this unwanted weight gain and perhaps even enable me to get back down into my healthy weight bracket. Ideally, I would love to be able to get 20-35 pounds off over the coming year, then maintain healthy weight moving forward.
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| #LovingAndLiftingUpTheWord |
I would love to meet you through social media:
My books:
Read about my current book project about deceptions women face from within the church, at JenniferSaake.blogspot.com/2021/04/DeceptionUnmasked.html
Read more about infertility, miscarriage, adoption loss, and my first book, Hannah's Hope (written pre-stroke), at JenniferSaake.blogspot.com/2021/04/hannahs.html
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